“Man, you don’t DESERVE all the applause!”
“C’mon you are not even THERE yet!”
Another voice chimes in:
“Nah, you just get LUCKY only! Do you really think this is good ENOUGH?”
Sometimes, all these voices come from the people around us, but most of the time they come from the voices within ourselves. If we feel that way after managing to finish a task or reach an achievement, then we may get a little bit of Impostor Syndrome.
Anyone who has played ‘Among Us’ as the get-together hangout virtual place with friends would have known what it means to be an impostor. The impostor inside the game has to guise himself/herself like the rest of the crewmates. Then, in the middle of the hustle and bustle of ‘doing the tasks’, the impostor kills one by one as his/her mystery mission. The meaning of “impostor” in Impostor Syndrome is not that far away from it.
Impostor Syndrome means the lack of affirmation of one’s capabilities after being able to achieve on works, projects, tasks or just random stuff, by actual proven evidences. You view your own success as being someone’s work. You view yourself of being lucky to be able to get a new job. You do not validate your own accomplishments, even though people surroundings assure you otherwise. That is why the name “impostor” comes out, because you will feel like a “sus”/fraud/liar standing in the limelight that you think you do not belong to.
Whereas, all these things root from self-doubt and lack of self-confident. These kinds of people will still be ‘imposter’ even every single person in this world put 100% faith and 200% trust on them.
The expert of this, Dr Valerie Young states that there are 5 different types of Impostor Syndromes that mostly relate to high-achievers and high-ambitious executives. But personally, I would say we all relate to them one way or another, regardless which stage we are on (learning, studying, working, retiring). Have a look at the infographic below and some questions for you to identify whether you have Impostor Syndrome or not.
Do you get frustrated when you feel you don’t get enough latest info?
Are you always doing works by yourself in a group project?
Do you feel beat-up when you couldn’t solve that math equation in your first try?
Do you work non-stop around the clock so that you could feel like you are useful?
Do you find fault in everything, even how the last word of a sentence shouldn’t be on another line of a paragraph?
After looking at the infographic, how much of it does it hit you? You could be one, a few or all of them. Personally, I think I am a little bit of everything.
P.S. (Personal Story warning)
When I was appointed being the President of swimming club in my university, I really, really, really (3 times to show its importance) didn’t think I was in anywhere near to be a leader at all. How could I be the President, when me, myself and I also could not lead my life to anywhere? I didn’t think I deserve the position at all, while another friend, let’s name him, C, so much deserved more than I did.
He is friendly, reasonable, sensible and most of all, the most rational guy I ever see. Anything that he says always makes so much sense and get the majority people’s approval. So, I thought if he became our leader, C would be able to make quick decision-making to bring our club to next level without a doubt.
However – or maybe moreover, C is a good friend too. He knows my personality well or maybe he knows himself better too. He was scared that he would become the Soloist, accomplishing task on his own without asking any help, that in the end there would be no more club, but a solo enterprise owned and directed by himself. I, on the other hand, might be a little bit of the Great Mind and the Superwoman. I can be a know-it-all jerk and try to be prove-myself-more-worthy type of person.
So, he came out a very good solution that we both agreed. I would be the President when he was the Vice President. But the position here did not matter at all when we both promised collectively to finish the task according to our strength. I am an outgoing person so I would be dealing with external relationship matters while he dealt with paperwork, rules and regulations and administration issues with his meticulous and detailed- oriented skills. I would proudly say we made such a perfect team. I couldn’t thank him more.
Luckily, I was able to find someone that understand my values and remind me that I have my own strength and it is okay to ask for help from others since everyone needs help one way or another, because you are definitely not alone in this world. You suck at one thing, but it doesn’t mean you should be drilling onto it head to head until it plunges your life deep into the darkness.
Be aware of your own feeling. What you feel doesn’t determine who you are. It is okay to not be okay. It is fine to feel being perfectionist, to feel being the expert. But it is not okay to beat up yourselves so much that this negativity becomes your bad habit and slowly builds to a toxic life.
Emotional beat-up to ourselves could lead to self-destruction eventually without our awareness. Subconsciously, you will start to judge every single of your action based on the ‘perfect formula’ and forever plant them inside your brain, thinking that’s who you really are. But you are more than that!
It’s okay to feel like an “impostor” once a while but don’t let it drive you away from your original life path. Do remember the remaining tasks on hands because this is your game and your LIFE.
*Featured Image credit to Getty Images/iStockphoto